My Testimony

“What delight comes to the one who follows God’s ways! He won’t walk in step with the wicked, nor share the sinner’s way, nor be found sitting in the scorner’s seat.” …

Psalms 1:1 TPT

When I was young, I got bullied for singing a Christian song written by a female artist.  The boys in my class called me “gay,” and a “girl,” because I was a gentle spirited boy with a love for Jesus.  Their words, like curses, left deep scars on my heart for years after that experience.  I eventually became so identified with my trauma that I decided to change my name to “Venus” and I told my family that I wanted to use she/her pronouns… My transition to identifying as a female was not easy, and although I had a lot of support from my friends and family, my relationship with God was holding on by a thread.  I had turned away from Jesus, I was running from the Father, and I was afraid that I would never be able to recover from the pain of my past. I thought that new age spirituality and even sorcery could solve my problems, but the truth is that it only made things more complicated and it became exceedingly difficult to handle everyday life.  Every dream and vision I had would lead to a feeling of success, and then all at once there would be a point where everything would just collapse under the weight of my own ego.  The problem was that I was trying so hard to figure everything out on my own, and I had a weak foundation built on the lies of the enemy. 

… “His pleasure and passion is remaining true to the Word of “I Am,” meditating day and night in the true revelation of light.” …

Psalms 1:2 TPT

At the time, I was talking to a close friend of mine named Ellie.  I was able to witness many of the wonderful and amazing things that Jesus was doing in her life, and it was truly an eye-opening experience to be a part of, but I was still afraid of Jesus.  I thought that if I let Him into my heart, He would destroy me completely, and I was right. A little over a month ago, God sent a very strong message to help guide me in the right direction.  One day, while my five-year-old nephew Jase and I spent time playing games and talking about life, he suddenly looked up at me and asked me, “Venus, why are you a girl if you are a boy?”  I looked back at him in awe as I thought about how to respond, I said, “Well Jase, that’s a really good question.  I’m not sure how to answer that but I will try my best.”  As I attempted to explain the difference between sex and gender identity, I realized that my authenticity was seriously at risk because I couldn’t truthfully explain my identity to my five-year-old nephew.  It was pretty obvious that he didn’t understand what I was saying, and I somehow knew that my explanation was built on a foundation of lies that I had been told before, and had continued to tell myself to build up my persona. 

… “He will be standing firm like a flourishing tree planted by God’s design, deeply rooted by the brooks of bliss, bearing fruit in every season of his life. He is never dry, never fainting, ever blessed, ever prosperous.” …

Psalms 1:3 TPT

After that conversation, I knew that I was going through an ego death, and I needed help to navigate this experience I was having.  So, I decided to sit down with my aunt Tami, a mature Christian woman whom I trust, and talk about what was going on in my life.  We ended up having a really great conversation about spirituality and Jesus Christ.  I told her that my ego was collapsing and the weight of Jase’s question was enough to knock down all of the lies I was telling myself to uphold my identity, and I knew that Jesus was a big part of it because I had asked Him to show me the truth and defeat me with His love.  Tami gave me a very powerful lesson about the importance of spiritual discernment, which I now know is only possible with the Holy Spirit, and she told me that Jesus loves me and wants to have an intimate relationship with me, but He cannot do anything without my permission.  I realized in that moment that I wanted to believe in the Word of God, but I had a serious identity crisis to resolve.  So I did what any spiritual seeker would do, I prayed…  

… “But how different are the wicked. All they are is dust in the wind—driven away to destruction!” …

Psalms 1:4 TPT

That week, Jesus showed me the truth about the enemy.  He gave me eyes to see, and ears to hear.  I learned the truth about Lucifer, the father of lies, and I realized that I was following the wrong “god.”  I didn’t want this life anymore, I just wanted to be with Jesus, I wanted the love of the father of love.  So, I spoke directly to the devil, and I told him that I was not afraid of him, and that he has no power over me, and that we were through.  Then, as I felt my heart sinking into the darkness of fear, I begged the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and invade my heart with His peace, through His salvation we conquered the enemy of my soul together, and defeated my ego once and for all.  My whole reality shifted overnight, I was completely changed, and I knew I couldn’t continue down the path that I was on any longer.  Jesus showed me the truth that God created me in His perfect image, He told me that I don’t have to change my name or my body to be worthy of His perfect love, and I finally believed in Him, I believed in Jesus Christ with all my heart, and He showed me the truth!  It was amazing…  I said to myself, my name is Matthew Forrest Akre, and I am a child of God. 

… “The wicked will not endure the day of judgment, for God will not defend them. Nothing they do will succeed or endure for long, for they have no part with those who walk in truth.” …

Psalms 1:5 TPT

The next morning, I woke up and the Lord asked me to go on a walk. By the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I ended up walking right by Harbor City Church!  I knew it was meant to be, so I went to the service and I got totally wrecked by the Holy Spirit.  I was on my knees, crying like a baby, and Jesus was right there with me, telling me that everything would be alright.  I got saved that morning when Pastor Doug called on me to come up and give my life to Jesus, I was so ready for this moment, I raised both my hands high and said, “That’s me!”  After that church service, I called my manager at Mary Jane’s House of Glass, if you know what Mary Jane is, then you should know why I told her that was on a different path now, and I quit my job right then and there.  The very next day, Jesus took me to the Tinderbox Coffee Roastery to get a cup of tea, and I ended up meeting the manager, Shae-Lynn, who also goes to Harbor City Church.  She told me to bring in a resume, and now I am working there as a barista!  GOD IS SO GOOD!!!  I also started playing the violin again, a love of mine that was lost during my battle with the enemy, and I am planning to go back to school to finish my degree in music performance at Central Washington University next year.  Ellie and I have become even better friends since we have shared our love for Jesus, and now He is pretty much all we ever talk about!  I have had so many beautiful, life-transforming experiences since I gave my life to Jesus, and I cannot wait to share them with you here.  It is impossible to fully express how much love and peace that I feel when I am in the presence of God, I’m so excited to keep moving forward with Him now!  Wherever Jesus goes, I will follow Him forevermore. I cannot wait to see where my journey with Christ takes me next! 

… “But how different it is for the righteous! The Lord embraces their paths as they move forward while the way of the wicked leads only to doom.”

Psalms 1:6 TPT

PRAISE THE LORD JESUS CHRIST, FOR HE IS KING ABOVE THE ALL!!!